4/25 Check in Thread

Green Check MarkTo follow up on my thread, please post in the Check in Thread. If you posted late in the last one, feel free to post here again and please take care of each other until I get well. Thank you.

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Someone emailed me and requested that I make an appearance here. I’ve had pneumonia going on my 3rd week. I’m in a fairly weakened condition and am taking it day by day. I will read comments and post when I am able. Right now I am trying to get better. Please try to respond to each other and take care of each other while I am recuperating.

Some of you on the site know that I had a very bad 2015 where I was diagnosed with Lupus and spent almost 2 weeks in the hospital and even later had surgery for suspected cancer. So having an autoimmune disease makes a problem like pneumonia even more difficult and I am having trouble kicking this. I thought it was a cold (as I posted as to why I couldn’t do the videos, I had no voice) and it turned into bronchitis and then turned into pneumonia.

So my apologies, but I’m trying to stay afloat at the moment and hope you can all take care of each other in the meantime.

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Questions Post

questionIf your question or post suggestion wasn’t answered the last time you posted, or if you have new questions/suggestions (click HERE to see the repost for a sample of Answers to Questions post…you can make your question as specific or general as you like), ask here in comments. Thank you!!!

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Answers to A Questions Post

questionThis is a repost of an older Questions? post I am hard at work on my third book and would prefer to answer new questions via video. I’ll post a new Questions post and if you made suggestions in the last post, please repeat them there. I have posted a few things in response to suggestions and don’t think I’ve covered everything, so I want to invite you to re-post if I didn’t post something in response to you. Read on for sample questions or go HERE to post a question/suggestion.

In the meantime, this is an older Answers to the Questions Post and some of it is very pertinent to our current commenters, but I wanted to share some of the older questions posts so you’re not shy about asking. I get a bit of EVERYTHING! So ask away! Also feel free to comment on this post as well (now).

Hi All:

These are the first 8 answers to the Questions? Post Feel free to comment on the question or the answer. If you have more questions about these, put them in comments and I’ll include them in Part 2
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Heat Meet Kitchen II

kitchen gas flames

Thank you for the request for this repost in comments. I actually had no recollection of this post.  I’m glad it helped before and hope it can help again.

“If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” ~ Harry S. Truman

Yesterday I had a discussion with a client where I basically said, “If you don’t want to get hurt, don’t date.” Honestly and truly. I stress recovering from grief and unresolved grief because it’s the only way to fly.

Life is about loss. Unless every single person leaves on the same day you leave, or dies on the same day you die, you’re going to have losses. You’re going to grieve. You’re going to get hurt. Sorry for the reality check, but that’s the cold hard truth.
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Does Anybody Miss Me?


Depositphotos_74480495_s-2015It’s been 5 years since I last posted this, so most of you probably don’t remember it.

Does anybody miss me?

Does anybody feel the way I do?

Does anybody wonder

If my lost and lonely heart is missing you?

~ Les Reed / Johnny Worth written for Shirley Bassey 1969

Does anyone miss me? Does it matter? Do I matter if no one misses me? No. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter in this life or the next.

Missing means nothing. Missing isn’t anything. Love is an action (remember) and missing is just a dopey nostalgia for something that is missing because YOUR BONEHEAD EX told you to GO AWAY.

And one day they look around and go, “Didn’t there used to be a person in this spot? What happened to them?” So if someone who told you to go away now MISSES YOU, the question is: Yeah, so what?

You want someone to miss you because you think it means you matter or mattered. It doesn’t matter if you mattered or matter….it only matters that you matter to you and that you make sure you matter to those in your life. And it’s not optional or fleeting. It has to be consistent and meaningful. Does the ex miss you? WHO CARES? Continue reading

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Getting Out of the Abusive Relationship

stop the painI wrote this a while back but consistently receive comments and private emails about it If you have been in an abusive relationship and gotten out please share your thoughts on this post and respond to the comments there Please tweet and share this post.

The idea that people are in abusive relationships makes me so upset I think that awareness is the key.

Please share on twitter and/or facebook and/or comment to those who hae shared on the post. My heart really goes out to them.


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4/1 Check-in

Green Check MarkAs spring starts springing, how is everyone doing?

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Rejection and Its Fatal Effects

rejection1I am currently writing the Rejection chapter for my next book. If you have a “rejection” story, please share – esp if you had a withholding, rejecting or absent parent and how that has translated into adult relationships.

My earliest memory is realizing that the family I lived with wasn’t “my” family and that my biological mother had placed me there, visiting very seldom. When she did visit me, either there or at the offices of the Catholic Charities in Manhattan, she was cold, distant and not very interested in me.

Other adults thought I was cute and smart and well-behaved. So why didn’t she want me? As a five year old I had to wonder what intrinsic, fatal flaw did I have that rendered me repulsive to my own mother?

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The Big Lebowski I Am Not (So Sue Me)

lebowski-posterI last posted this about 2 years ago and I always find myself writing a post in response to comments and then thinking, “Wait, I already wrote this!” This one I didn’t have to think hard about. A few of you really need this post. :)

I met my first husband when we were in high school and we would go bowling (ten pin) with a group of friends. I happen to be double jointed and when I swung the ball back my arm would lock and I would have to drop the ball. Once I didn’t drop it fast enough and it sailed off my fingers and almost wiped out a group of spectators. Not wanting to murder anyone, I pretty much gave up bowling after that.
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