Are your insides churning? Are you tracking every movement he or she makes? Are you interpreting everything he or she does and trying to figure out which things are really secret messages to you? Are you putting nonsense statuses up on your Facebook page/Twitter feed/Instagram etc to get them jealous? angry? sad?
How about Match.com/eHarmony/Zoosk/Tinder/Tag/whateverMingle or whatever…are you looking at his or her profile and figuring how when he or she is on line? Has he or she suddenly made themselves available again and you’re dying because you can’t stop looking at it.
WELL STOP IT.
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.
Immediately defriend the ex and all of the ex’s friends and family from Facebook. Unfollow on Twitter and block on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. Stay off of dating sites. Delete anything that is too tempting for you to have on your computer and not peek at your ex from time to time. That’s right: DELETE.
Playing games through social media is unhealthy and ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Repeat after me: UNHEALTHY AND RIDICULOUS.
DO NOT trash your ex (or anyone else) on social media. If you put something in print, it can (and probably will) come back and haunt you. Anyone who is a temptation (to look at or to talk to or about) GET RID OF. Do not make references or call names to the ex’s new flame or anyone else for that matter. Conduct your life with dignity.
Healthy people don’t do this. Healthy people don’t spend their lives trying to send direct or subliminal messages to people who may or may not be reading. Healthy people don’t spend time trying to outmanuveur someone else by random ranking of vacuous people met in cyberspace. Healthy people don’t sit there and try to figure out what a defriend from a friend of a cousin of an ex really means. Healthy people say good riddance to bad rubbish and call it a day.
SAY GOOD RIDDANCE AND CALL IT A DAY.
What are you looking at? What sort of information are you getting? How do you know that the information is real OR relevant? How do you know that whatever is going on (your photo down, another’s photo up, defriending, demotion etc) is even real? How do you know you are not being manipulated to STAY IN THE GAME. How do you know that?
The ONLY WAY TO WIN IS TO NOT PLAY THE GAME. By participating in Facebook follies and Instagram idiocy, YOU are playing the game. You are keeping trash in your head.
We are not Pavlov’s dogs on social media. We are not drooling when the bell goes off. If we are then something is wrong. You are programming yourself to look and to wonder and to whine and to stay weak when you need to be getting stronger. The endless peeking and worrying is just going to deplete you. You need to stay out of the ex’s head (for the 150th time) and being on the same social networking or dating sites is staying in his or her head.
Then you see something you don’t want to see and you react. STOP REACTING TO THIS STUFF. Stay off these sites. Stop worrying about what the ex is or is not doing or who he or she is or is not replacing you with. I recently wrote about doing a FB detox. I have not been on FB in WEEKS…and I have never felt better and I don’t have an ex to worry about and I conduct myself with grace and dignity. It’s hard at first because it’s a HABIT, but bad habits are made to be broken. At first it’s tough, but it gets so much easier. when I think about logging onto FB I think to myself, “Oh who wants that noise in my life? Not me.”
When you are tempted to do this GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. Go out for a walk (there’s a whole world out there that does not exist in cyberspace!)….write in your journal (long hand…turn off the computer)….call a friend…figure out a new hobby. DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE.
Checking and rechecking social media gets to be an addiction and like an addiciton you need to go cold turkey to get clean. Move off the dime and get away from the keyboard and live your own life and stop peeking at the goings on of your moving on ex.
If you’re still expecting or looking for texts, turn the phone off and put it away. You have to detach and move on with your life. If you have to unplug several times a day (and you should be anyway) then so be it. DO IT. I am appalled at the crazy behavior I’ve seen from texting people, from hurting themselves to missing really spectacular things happening around them to failing to care for their children or pets. If your electronic device is stuck to your eyeballs, MOVE IT AWAY and look at life. LIFE. Life is short, put the phone DOWN and LIVE IT. If you CAN’T, that’s a problem – and one you are engaging in willingly.
It is time to BUILD A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, not to be compulsively checking up on your ex. If you were doing this in person you’d be driving by the house or hanging up the phone. This is just as bad but much easier….so STOP IT.
There was an old Simpsons episode where Lisa kept poking Bart and he kept saying “Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow.”
This is you and your ex. You’re not choosing to move away or do anything to make it stop. You’re just standing there while someone pokes at you. Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow.
Saying Quit it OW is NOT going to make it stop.
You MUST walk away. You must decide that you have had enough.
Go out for a walk, join a gym, GET A LIFE but GET OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA.
Does it hurt when you do that?
DON’T DO THAT!!!