Torch Song Trilogy

A perennial favorite on the blog and requested repost:



I saw this movie in the theater when it came out and I was pretty tortured and depressed at the time. I had just ended my marriage and was wrestling with my relationship with my adoptive family. I remember crying at the relationship between Arnold and his adopted son David…I wanted a mom like Arnold, bunny slippers and all.

But I didn’t UNDERSTAND the sentiment, “Love and respect me or get out.” It did not compute. I had not yet learned, as Arnold knew, that love is an action. And I had not yet insisted on it from absolutely everyone.

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GBOT FB GROUP

gbotI have created a GBOT FB group. I will be posting previews and highlights from the new book and it’s a group so you are free to share and ask questions. It’s a closed group. To join go to: GBOT FB GROUP

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Sometimes, It’s Just Not It

Requested repost.


Not every post or every reader is about bad relationships. This blog and the book are about relationships that run the gamut. Many times the relationships are okay or even good and one person just says, “You know what? I’m outta here.” Sometimes there is absolutely no reason for it. It’s a nice relationship, you’re a nice person, but it’s not compelling enough for me to stay. That happens. Can be mind-boggling to the person being left, but it happens.

I received an email from someone this morning that I will respond to privately and post on the blog. It’s a very similar situation to what I’m talking about. But for those of you who might be in a similar situation, here is a repost of “Sometimes It’s Just Not It.”
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Passive Aggressive People (ARRRGGGHH)

Requested Repost:Passive Aggressive Personalities

The term “passive aggressive” originated in World War II to describe soldiers who passively avoided work or combat by procrastinating, pretending not to know what to do or which way to go, lagging behind and purposely screwing things up. They were originally labeled “stubborn malcontents.”

Because you can’t willfully and assertively refuse to do something in the military, its necessary to find other ways to get out of something: i.e. being aggressive in a very passive way. Unless you’re Beetle Bailey who was definitely passive-aggressive. (Does anyone remember Beetle Bailey?)

Passive aggressiveness is a way of resisting demands of others without actually confronting that person or the anger at the person with the demands.
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commenting

you now have the option to post with your screen name or with your facebook name. If it freaks you out that it shows your fb name (it shouldn’t unless it’s in your profile) just hit “Default Commenting” and it will revert to your screen name. Also feel free to share the GPYB posts on your FB page or comment on our FB page (www.facebook.com/gettingpastyourbreakup

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Mail: We Get Mail on Friendship

Large group with a bannerThe other day a client reminded me about this post and I was thinking about it in response to comments, so here is the original:


Dear Susan:

I have trouble with a new good friend of my best friend. This person is very catty, very upsetting and talks about other people to me. I assume she’s talking to others about me. I broke up with my boyfriend about 7 weeks ago. Very painful. I came here and started reading through your old posts. The on friendship really spoke to me. The new friend talks to and about my boyfriend all the time. I’ve asked my best friend to limit our interactions or tell new friend to stop it.
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6/25 Check in Post

Green Check MarkHow is everyone doing now that summer is officially upon us?

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Workbook video

I’ve received over a dozen emails about the contents of the workbook so I thought I’d repost the link to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKAGnWNW5nc

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The Switch Off…or not

OPTION 04Several weeks after my separation from my first husband I met a guy who seemed to be nice and funny and caring. I was still, very much, a hurting unit but he gave me attention in a way I had not had in a very long time.

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The Big Lebowski I’m Not (or: yeah, what is wrong with me?)

lebowski-posterI met my first husband when we were in high school and we would go bowling (ten pin) with a group of friends. I happen to be double jointed and when I swung the ball back my arm would lock and I would have to drop the ball. Once I didn’t drop it fast enough and it sailed off my fingers and almost wiped out a group of spectators. Not wanting to murder anyone, I pretty much gave up bowling after that.
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