In Action

gratitudeJohn F. Kennedy once said that as we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. M. Scott Peck said that love is an action.

Both love and gratitude are actions. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters what you DO. Yesterday I posted the YouTube video below for my readers on gratitude and I was touched, and grateful, for both the public and private response to it. I am always humbled by being in a position to give even one person a small ray of hope, especially on a difficult day like a holiday. We may be fine before the holiday, but holidays and anniversaries and birthdays can trigger all kinds of unexpected sadness and anxiety.

My life would not be possible without others who helped me during those very bleak and dark days when I was depressed, anxious, borderline suicidal and feeling hopeless. I remember driving down the road and the only way to avoid driving the car into a wall was to keep chanting, as tears streamed down my face, “I am a child of God and God loves me.” Someone gave me that to say when I was sitting in a therapist’s waiting room and my hands were physically shaking. This man, someone I didn’t know and had never met, turned to me and said, “Just remember, you are a child of God and God loves you.” He said it in this sweet and kind voice, almost a whisper, that was incredibly soothing. I wasn’t even sure if it was true or even if there was a God but I held onto it, and I said it like a mantra whenever I didn’t think I could go on another minute.

I’ve told this story when I’ve done speaking engagements and in seminars and on the blog. It’s a story that really has stayed with me all these years.
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On Gratitude and Fairness

I know I do a bit of crying in this video, which is unusual for me, but I wanted to get it up in time for Thanksgiving.

Please feel free to share with anyone who might be having a bit of a time or to share on social media. I hope it helps someone.

Take care all.

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There are more than 30 entries in the Six Word Contest

Vote for your favorite.

You can email me or vote in comments

Voting until December 1 and then we will have a winner. :)

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PreHoliday Workbook Sale

Because people have problems with the holidays which are now upon us, I’m holding a pre-holiday Workbook Sale from 11 p.m. Saturday November, 21 to 8 a.m. Tuesday, November 24th (EST). If you want to know more about the workbook, there is a long description on the workbook page and a video.

UPDATE NOVEMBER 24th: I am not raising the workbook back to its normal price of $24.99 until January 1. I will raise it from the pre-Holiday sale to a Holiday sale price of $21.99

The workbook, normally $24.99 is now $15.99.
You can order the fillable or non-fillable (you print it out and write it in). On the workbook page, it’s a pull down menu if you want the non-fillable. For the fillable, just click on the Buy Now.

The workbook is instantly available for download.


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Water Seeks Its Own Level

waterWhy We Attract Who We Attract

Other GPYB Psychology Today Posts:

When The Person You Love Doesn’t Love You

Being Your Own Best Therapist

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New GPYB Videos

I uploaded some new videos today with more coming tomorrow (they really take up so much time!!!) I’ve had a few recorded (about 10) but video takes a long time to deal with. Just getting these 4 up has taken me most of today. But I promise more in the next few days. Enjoy.

I know it’s been a long time and, honestly, I have worked on these before but have been sick a long time this year.

So sorry it’s been so long! If you want to subscribe to be notified of new ones, go to the sub button on the right.

The YouTube plugin wasn’t working, so this is the link to the GPYB channel:

GPYB YouTube Channel

Click Here to subscribe to GPYB YouTube channel

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Shoulda, Woulda Coulda

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

When I was moving along, nicely, through my relationship/life recovery I was working at things for about 7 years and feeling strong, capable and – yes – even happy.

Then I had a series of losses that rocked me. I felt as if someone had pulled the plug on my life. My job was laying off, my adoptive mother, whom I had spent 7 years trying to work on a relationship with, was dying. I had been looking for my birth family and was getting close when I realized I needed to stop because I could not handle the emotional turmoil in my adoptive family at the same time of finding my birth family. Then my adoptive mother died and 5 months later my dog who was a healthy and happy animal who had protected me and my children after my separation and was my very best friend (we had been through a lot and now he was happy and we had a huge yard where he bounded around, daily with joy), died suddenly. Then I resumed my search for my birth brother and found out that he had died a few years earlier. My boyfriend was a nice guy who had bonded with my dog after never having one of his own, and he was so upset over the dog’s death as well. It was his first pet loss and he was inconsolable though he was there throughout my dog’s ordeal (and mine). But I felt helpless to help him. He was sad, my kids were sad and I was beside myself. What had I done?

Suddenly, the world I had worked so hard to build and seemed picture perfect, was collapsing.

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Cheating: No-it’s not an option!

PrintThe PT blog post about Sexting has brought out all these people who think there are good reasons to cheat. Uh, no. One woman said that zero tolerance people have to explain their zero tolerance to their children when they wreck the family. Uh, no. The CHEATER wrecked the family and no one should have to stick around for that noise. Not for the kids not for any reason. I had a friend who told me, “What he does with you, he’ll do to you.” My friend Billy (it’s almost time for a Billy post…he changed my life.)

I only knew Billy for a 2 week period (I write about it on the holidays post every year and just put it in a YouTube video). I don’t even know his last name–not sure if I ever knew it–but his sayings stuck with me a long time. This is one of them.

My ex had cheated on me with someone and Billy said, “what he does with her, he’ll do to her.”

It took me a long time to “get” it, but the bottom line wasn’t just that someone who is a cheater is always a cheater, but someone who can’t be trusted simply can’t be trusted. In some of the comments on PT, I explain this whole thing…but I’m talking to the wall in some ways (to some of those people – you almost think that they have to be cheaters for the justifications they use.) Check it out – weigh in (we need some intelligent comments over there. :) )

The ex was not in a serious relationship before me (we were teenagers together). I have doubts that he ever cheated on the person he cheated on me with (except with me when he wanted to come back and, oops, forgot to tell her) but she kept him on so short a leash, it was probably not possible. One reason he couldn’t spend time with his kids alone was because she was afraid he’d ask them about me and maybe have feelings again. (she was so insecure he couldn’t be with his own children due to her insecurity).

But the bottom line is that he cheated, he lied and he was completely untrustworthy. The self-lies and self-deceit that made all that possible were also pretty over-the-top. Even when I knew he was lying and would confront him with it, he would say things like, “If you keep accusing me of this, I’m GOING TO DO IT.” which is NOT the answer you give if you’re doing nothing (but I didn’t know that at the time).
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The Gift of Desperation – Yes, GIFT

freedomThe truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. – M. Scott Peck

As the holidays come upon us, many of us scramble for cover and wish wish wish it could be all over. In this holiday season we need to remember to give ourselves gifts, to treat ourselves well and to recognize the gifts we’ve been given. Most importantly, the gift of desperation.

It never feels like a gift. This I know only too well. It’s a very difficult thing to understand that being smashed into the ground by someone who professed to love us (or to have done something to someone to sent away) that it’s a gift in any way shape and form.
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Replaced by the Ex So So Soon

I get this question all the time and I posted a response on the PT blog.

#Replaced By the Ex in a Very #Public Way

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