1/29 Check In

Green Check Mark New check in thread! How is everyone doing? If you’re new to the blog, you are able to paste your last check in to the new thread if it came at the tail end of the last discussion. As we roll in February, how is everyone doing?

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Loneliness as a Risk of Returning To a Bad Relationship

One of the first steps of recovery is to develop a full life for yourself. Nothing happens until that occurs. Have a plan what to do if you get lonely so you don’t do the disasterous ‘Drink and Dial!’ Or you don’t do the ‘Daydream and Dial.’ HE’S NOT DIFFERENT! Nothing has changed! Learn to build a great life and avoid the risk factor of loneliness.” ~ Sandra Brown

The last time I posted this, it had over 100 comments so it strikes a nerve.

As many of you know, I am the owner and moderator of a Yahoo Women Who Love Too Much list and Facebook group I post there and here and have some members from there over here but that group is not open to men and GPYB has a larger-than-usual number of men who have read the book, post here and attend the seminars. And the men I’ve met at the seminars and through the blog and email group are some of the nicest men I’ve ever known. And they are thankful for a gender-neutral place to share and be a part of because I think that most breakup books and sites are geared specifically to women. So most of the GPYB material is gender neutral (as well as age neutral/sexual orientation neutral etc). So the above quote can be applied to men as well as women as well as the rest of this post.

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Green Check MarkFirst check in of 2016 How is everyone doing? If you posted at the end of the last check in thread, feel free to repost here. How is everyone doing?

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GPYB Seminar Series and Study Hall

People on Gears Helping Each Other to Reach SolutionSeminar Series and Study Hall Starts On 1/4

If you are subscribed via PayPal, you should have received instructions to register or access. Please let me know if you did not!!!

To preview the forums, go here:

You can join the Study Hall at any time. It will be on-going. We will begin in January 2016, but you can join and start at Week One at any time.

We go through the books and workbooks. You can join at any time, you can post your journals (or portions), affirmations, goals and inventories (again as much or as little as you like) and get personal attention and feedback.

It’s designed to be a very private space where people can go every single day for support and care. A joy shared is doubled and a heartache shared is halved.
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Your Right To Swing Your Arm….

nose…ends at the tip of my nose.

Reposting this as I mentioned it in comments. I wrote it about 4 or 5 years ago and reposted it a time or two since.

Since I wrote this, I’ve gotten much better at not responding to this type of thing. I’ve become almost a master at it. A Zen master! And that’s a good thing. I’m an attorney. I argue for a living. I like to argue. But when you’re dealing with irrational crazy people, you need to sit back, relax, say and do nothing. And while I don’t like the space all the time, I manage to make peace with the peace:

Lately I’ve been hearing A LOT about people taking WAY too much responsibility for not being “understanding” enough because their partner had some sort of “condition” (ADHD, depression, grief, mental illness, alcoholism, etc etc etc).

People who are suffering from any one thing have two responsibilities: 1) to get help for it and 2) to not abuse anyone.

There are NO excuses for abusing anyone. I don’t care who you are or what your affliction is.
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A New Year, A New You

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential.
~ Ellen Goodman

Resolutions said once and soon forgotten amount to not much more than a wish. Every New Year’s Day we resolve to stop doing things such as smoking and eating junk food. Rarely do we take the time to map out a strategy and build a foundation for success. Therefore, New Year’s resolutions rarely last beyond February.

Resolutions must be about the positive if we want to unlock our full potential. Success starts with believing that what needs to be done can be done, and that you can make it happen.

To make your resolution last, start with a positive goal, write down what you want to do and how you are doing to do it. Include affirmations and visualizations as described in Getting Past Your Breakup and Getting Back Out There and the worksheets in the workbook. Revisit your list every day and tweak as necessary. Revise your lists once a month and add to it as the year goes on. Affirm, every day, that it’s time to make your life happen and achieve your dreams.

Thought for the Day (today and every day in 2016!)

Today I will believe in myself and my success. I will affirm to be positive and believe in myself. I will set short-term and long-term goals and use affirmations and visualizations to achieve those goals. I will revisit my goals and not lose sight of them as the year goes on. Today I affirm that my best life is waiting for me.

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12/28 Check In Thread

Green Check MarkHow is everyone doing? If you’re new and introduced yourself in the last check in thread, please feel free to copy your intro to here so everyone can see it.

I have been setting up the study hall. It is not yet finished nor password protected but will be. I hope to open it on the 2nd of January.

It is located at http://www.GettingPastYourBreakup.com/forums
and only open to subscribing members. I will be adding more subforums over the next few days and a few member only videos. I’ll be posting the introduction video and sign up shortly. Thanks all!!!

To Register For The Blog Click Here

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Being Part of the Solution

I post a similar post every year. This is this year’s post.

In 2016, Resolve To Be Part of the Solution

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If It Talks Like A Codep and Walks Like A Codep

HiRes[1]I was watching Hot Bench and the plaintiff worked her butt off to put the defendant on his feet. When they met he had just gotten out of prison, didn’t have a job, had a suspended license. She paid bills, got him a job and a car yadda yadda. She stated she “invested in him.”

People are not stocks and bonds. We invest in those who invest in us. Unlike stocks and bonds. She was so blind to what she was doing, it was unbelievable. She even answered questions for him in the court! They asked him a question and she would answer.

Because she was now suing him over the balance of the car.
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Hello I am New Nametag Sticker Rookie TraineeIf you are new to the blog, please put your introduction in the check-in thread. It changes every few weeks (after 100 or so comments). If it changes right after you post, feel free to copy and post to the new one.

I regret that I can’t answer individual emails because I get so many, but I answer posts on the blog or the PT blog because what I say to you might help someone else and you also get the support of the others so please please please comment on here or on one of the PT blog posts. Only 1 percent of those who write me privately usually post on one of the blogs, but it would help someone else if you do. So please post here. If you post here but need me to know specifics you don’t want posted in public, send me the specifics in private email and I’ll still answer your post on the blog.

Please do not swear on the blog or put sexually explicit material here. I would hate to moderate every comment. Thank you!

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