Achieving HAPPY

smile“If we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.” – Edith Wharton

The holidays tend to push someone else’s idea of happiness upon us. We are told Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” and Easter is the time for new beginnings, but we can’t figure out, half the time, what that means.

What we are told and what we feel about it are often two different things. We feel stressed, hurried, broke and on edge. How is Christmas the “most wonderful time of the year?” What makes it so?

And if we are not happy during December, when everyone keeps telling us we should be, when will we be happy? On New Year’s when it’s the start of a brand new year? No? Too close to Christmas? How about at Easter when it’s the time of new beginnings? Okay, it’s Easter. Do you feel better yet?

HAPPY is not something we are just when the almighty “THEY” tell us to be. Happiness comes from “having a pretty good time” all of the time by knowing how to accept life on life’s terms.

The key to being happy is to accept life as it comes along and to finish our unfinished business.

That’s pretty much it.

In GPYB we tackle things that happened in the past while doing positive things in the present and making goals for the future. It’s a very systematic program designed to heal the losses, change our thinking and behavior of today, and plan for the future.

We don’t talk about being extraordinarily happy but when we focus on our STUFF in the past, change our thinking in the present and make plans for the future, having a “pretty good time” is the result.

When we are whole and we are healed of all the pain and loss that we have experienced, we can wake up each day and not TRY to be happy…we will take what comes along. We will stop trying to control people places and things…we will have good boundaries and a positive outlook, we will do the right thing and our emotions will be appropriate.

If a day is wonderful we will recognize that, appreciate it and bask in it.

If a day is terrible, we will deal with it without going off the deep end, go to bed knowing that tomorrow is another day.

When we string a bunch of days together, just taking them as they come, for 24 hours, and accepting what they are and what they bring and not trying to will them to be what we want, we will eventually realize we are happy.

Because when we accept each day as it comes along and appreciate it for what it is or is not, we wind up having a pretty good time.

Have a good time…no matter what the calender says or doesn’t say…YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

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3 Responses to Achieving HAPPY

  1. scubasteve says:

    Thank you Susan! Holidays, family time and Sundays see to be the worse. She was wonderful with my family although holidays she was never allowed to spend with my family.

    • Susan J. Elliott Susan J. Elliott says:

      Hang in there Steve. It sounds like you have been through a rough patch. Don’t let holidays throw you off course (as they do for so many.) A day is just a day. Let it be. Make your own timeline and don’t feel pressured by the calender to have a good time, observe a holiday or feel something you don’t feel. Be good to you NO MATTER WHAT.

  2. Loveisallthereis says:

    I appreciated this part in particular. “The key to being happy is to accept life as it comes along and to finish our unfinished business”. I am in the mental health industry and spend every day helping my clients as they struggle to focus on what you talk about in this post Susan and I needed to remind mySELF of the work that I am doing on ME today. From reading the book (again) I am seeing that I still have to be diligent and gentle with myself. I often tell myself I should “know better” than to have picked another unavailable person but reading has showed me the light. I can admit that my internal and external boundaries were not the healthiest when I engaged in this last relationship. I was burnt out on work and I was frustrated from the dating process, exhausted with going on first date after first date and when I met him, I just wanted to be done with it. I wanted to have some “one” to connect with and have a safe and monogamous relationship with. Well… I had both of those things but I knew early on that he was not in a “place to commit” and I stayed around hoping that he would change his mind. He ended it last week when I asked for a formal commitment after almost five months of dating. And I did not hear a peep from him until the other day, he called to “check on” me. Left a voice mail and it sent me into a bit of fantasy again…. but thanks I do not have my head in the clouds, I know he was not coming back.. he was never really there.

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