Source: gettingpastyourbreakup.com via Getting Past on Pinterest
Bootcamp
The database is fixed and I’m setting up the accounts. Sorry for the delay bootcampers. It will be ready for Friday! Promise!
Revenge Revisited
In response to comments, I’m rerunning this:
Revenge is never a good idea. Even though it seems as if your anger needs an outlet and the ONLY possible one is one with a target and the ONLY possible target is your ex or your ex’s new love. Anger and outrage are normal emotions after you have been hurt by someone or led on or lied to or cheated on etc. It’s NORMAL to feel incredibly pissed off. It’s even normal to have a revenge fantasy or two, but it’s NOT OKAY (EVER) to act on it.
Revenge will not be the thing that makes you feel better (okay, maybe for a moment). In short, acting out vengefully impedes our progress. It impedes our progress to retaliate against someone by smearing his or her good name to all they know. It impedes our progress to stay focused on them and the dirty, rotten things we want to do to them in our anger. It’s not okay and it’s not your place to make sure something terrible happens to this person or to be the instrument to make it happen. It’s simply NOT OKAY.
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Bootcamp
Hello all:
For those who asked: BOOTCAMP is on-line and it doesn’t matter what time zone you are in. You do NOT have to be on-line the same time as others. If you have more questions, put them in comments or email me. Thanks!
IF you need a partial payment plan different than the one offered, please let me know and we can arrange it. There is a discount if you are an alum, a paid subscriber or a private client and if you are 2 or 3, you get all the discounts. So let me know.
Bootcamp starts this Friday if you are interested! For those who are signed up, I am working out some technical issues with it and will send you the sign in information as soon as I do.
This bootcamp covers: raising self-esteem, NC (if it’s an issue or if you’re still engaged in the relationship or somehow with your ex [kids/work etc]), Relationship and Life Inventories (if you’ve done one or both and want it more indvidualized, we can work on that), Defense Mechanisms, Boundaries, Depression and Anxiety, Forgiveness, Moving On. After the first 2 weeks I will work with you to fit the program more to your specific issues.
I have 2 openings although a few people told me they were interested but haven’t made a deposit. So even if you haven’t spoken to me yet, if you want to sign up, please do. This is a very cool group that has signed up for this and if you want to join us, please do! When those openings are full I will close registration.
REGISTRATION IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST [Read more...]
Defense Mechanisms
We work with defense mechanisms in boot camps and I work with my private clients on them usually after we do the inventories. I work with them in groups or private counseling as it’s really hard, sometimes, to recognize your own defense mechanisms and to start to “moderate” them. I’ve talked about them before but it’s a bit difficult to talk about them in one post. If you have questions, let me know.
Defense mechanisms are unconscious, psychological processes that defend us against real or perceived dangers.
Defense mechanisms are not necessarily bad or wrong. Living in the world would cause entirely too much anxiety for a person to function if there was no ability to filter out or to defend against perceived dangers.
Defense mechanisms are necessary for psychological health because they are ANXIETY REGULATORS.
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People Pleasing People Are Not Pleased
We talked about this A LOT this past weekend, so I thought I would rerun this.
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–which is: Try to please everybody. ~Herbert Bayard Swope
There are essential insanities and inessential insanities. Essential insanities get us in trouble with others. Inessential insanities get us in trouble with ourselves. It is always preferable to be in trouble with others, in fact it may be essential. ~ Tom Robbins
When you stop people pleasing, people are not pleased. ~ Al-Anon saying.
I believe that my life became incredibly happy once I said to hell with what the dysfunctional people in my life wanted from me. I realized, at some point, that I wouldn’t please them in a million years and I was sick of the fact that I had turned myself inside out by trying to do just that.
2012 Get M.A.D. at Brain Cancer Fund Raiser
Information about this year’s event to join us or donate
plus a link to photos of us at last year’s event.
http://ropeburns.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/get-m-a-d-at-brain-cancer-2012-fund-raising-event/
June Women’s Conference
The wonderful ladies who attended this past weekend’s conference quickly spread the word as to how great the weekend was. And yes it was, mainly thanks to the women who attended and made it so special. I do think that the ability to share and support each other is very healing as I found at conferences (and am attending a conference for widows in April).
The last women’s weekend I did was in 2008 so I had no plans to do another one this year, but several people emailed me to ask me when the next one was. So I have planned one for June 6-8 in New York.
I think the number of women who attended (9) was the perfect number so I am absolutely limiting the conference to 9. Registration is now open and I will close it as soon as I have 9 registrations. Thanks all!!!
REGISTRATION FOR JUNE WOMEN’S CONFERENCE, AND MAY CONFERENCE, AND MAY EVENING, AND FEB-MAR BOOTCAMP
GPYB Shirts, Magnets, Books and Other Products
If you’re buying yourself something this Valentine’s Day:


















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