classic — Getting Past Your Breakup

Reject the Rejector: the Prequel

October 19, 2011 By Susan J. Elliott 6 Comments

The most popular post EVER on the blog is “When The Person You Love Doesn’t Love You” but this post was the precursor to that. Reject the rejector. Be good to you.

My earliest memory is realizing that the family I lived with wasn’t “my” family and that my biological mother had placed me there, visiting very seldom. When she did visit me, either there or at the offices of the Catholic Charities in Manhattan, she was cold, distant and not very interested in me.

Other adults thought I was cute and smart and well-behaved. So why didn’t she want me? As a five year old I had to wonder what intrinsic, fatal flaw did I have that rendered me repulsive to my own mother? [Read more...]

Filed Under: classic, featured, heartache, heartbreak, heartbroken, rejection, relationship

When The Person You Love Doesn’t Love You

August 10, 2011 By Susan J. Elliott 9 Comments

It’s hard but it happens.

And it hurts.

You love someone who may have loved you once upon a time.

You love someone who acted like there was a possibility of love in return, but now there’s not.

Or
[Read more...]

Filed Under: abuse, breakup, classic, rejection, relationship

Being Friends With Your Ex

August 10, 2011 By Susan J. Elliott 4 Comments

Most of this is in the book, but this is always a big topic. Please PAY ATTENTION to the fact that my answer is not NEVER, but it’s ALMOST ALWAYS NEVER. I always get these letters from people saying, “I’m friends with all my exes, you’re wrong” blah blah. That’s great for YOU. I’m speaking to people who are being hurt by the attempt.
[Read more...]

Filed Under: breakup, classic, friends, friends after a breakup, friends with the ex

Emotions of Grief After A Breakup

August 9, 2011 By Susan J. Elliott 14 Comments

Requested repost:

Emotions of Grief After A Breakup

There are 3 “phases” of grief: 1) shock and denial, 2) great emotion, 3) acceptance, reorganization and integration.

The bulk of grief work is done in the middle phase which is where all the emotional turmoil takes place. In other posts we will talk about phase 3, but for this post we will talk about phase 1 and 2.
[Read more...]

Filed Under: breakup, classic, feeling, grief, grief process

Getting Past Your Breakup

August 8, 2011 By Susan J. Elliott

The post that started it all:

Getting Past Your Breakup: 10 Things To Do To Move On NOW!

Even when we see a breakup coming, it can be devastating to suddenly be alone.

Perhaps we were still holding onto hope that it would last.

Perhaps we were just deep in denial about everything that was going wrong.

Perhaps we were trying to get it together before the clock chimed midnight and weren’t fast enough.

Even if it’s a breakup we wanted and think is for the best, it can be devastating. Gone are the hopes and dreams that you had at the beginning, gone is a person who [Read more...]

Filed Under: breakup, classic, relationship