Reader Reviews
"From Amazon.com reviews: "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com: "From Barnes & Noble. com: "From Amazon.com: "I bought the book at a store this weekend and found it so enlightening and powerful. My ex, like one person in the book, can't figure out why we can't be friends. The book gave me the perfect answer and I don't feel guilty any longer. I can never thank you enough." "From BarnesandNoble.com "From BarnesandNoble.com "From Amazon.com: "I wanted to write you personally and thank you for this incredible book. Reading through it and knowing that what I am experiencing is NORMAL has been so helpful to me. WHEW. What a relief! I thought I was going crazy. "I attended one of the seminars last year and really liked meeting everyone and doing the exercises. The workshop materials were great but I thought that it would be best to have a book with all the pieces of the puzzle laid out for you. The book does just that! "From Barnesandnoble.com: "From Amazon.com: "I credit this book and the accompanying blog as being the things which took me from a person in tremendous pain and heartache, one of the darkest periods of my life, out into the light, where I could not only function normally, but actually be happy again, and excited for the future. "Dear Ms Elliott: "From Amazon Canada: "From Amazon.UK "From BarnesandNoble.com "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.UK "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com "From Barnesandnoble.com: "From Amazon.com: "Dear Ms. Elliott: ""Of all the break-up books on the market, this is by far the most helpful." ~ at Borders.com and reposted at www.buzzillions.com " "From Amazon.com: "From Amazon.com: "Great book. Helpful thru the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I've cried and also felt empowered. A must read if this has happened to you. " "From Amazon.com "Via email:
What I really liked about this book is it really is a guidebook to getting better. It's a very easy read with clearly written steps to take. So many self-help books are just a mish-mash of analysis, but this one is so much more practical than that. Also, I found that I could (unfortunately) relate to some of the personal stories, which helps me to want to apply the "tools" in this book. ~ Angelita"
This is so much more than a break up book. Its about using the break up as an opportunity to become someone of substance dept and soul,as an opportunity to learn new skills and be able to form the life's and relationships we deserve and yearn for. Written in a down to earth no nonsense language, a practical and useful but also showing us how our grief can be transforming and healing in a way we could not even think of. I recommend it without reservation. "
Susan Elliott's work has been extremely helpful to me in overcoming the breakup of my 20 year marriage. I was devastated and broken after my husband left me for another woman. The lessons in this book gave me hope again and helped pull me out of my depression. It gave me the courage to use this situation as an opportunity to grow as a person and build healthier relationships in my life.
The biggest lesson in this book is to go no contact with your ex after a breakup. This makes such a tremendous difference. It helps you overcome denial and move through the different stages of grieving. This book offers practical advice on specific steps you can take to build up your self-esteem again, set boundaries, and build the life you deserve.
Since using Susan's Getting Past Your Past program, my life has become so much healthier and richer. Her advice helped me directly after the breakup in dealing with my divorce and continues to help me now in setting boundaries with my ex as we interact concerning our children. "
There are a lot of self-help breakup books but finally there is one that really helps. The advice is to work through your grief while building a new life. Working out the bad while working in the good the book says. The book is meant to be read and re-read and used as a guidebook through the process of moving on.
There are great stories from real people, exercises and very pithy helpful advice. The author's "voice" is very personal and you feel as if she's speaking right to you. The book was very easy to read. I found myself more than half way through it in one sitting. There is so much to be learned from this book. Highly recommend.
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Every once in a long while, a person comes along who touches your life in such a profound way that you almost can't believe it.
For me, that person is Susan Elliott.
I stumbled upon her blog when I was at an all-time low in my life, having just undergone a heart-wrenching breakup that turned my world upside down and inside out. How could I allow someone to treat me so horribly in the name of love? Why didn't I recognize that I was being exploited? What was so damaged in me that I chose such a narcissistic mental case?
Susan's blog shed light on all of these questions and set me on a long journey toward becoming the person I was meant to be. My life is far better now than I ever could have imagined, spanning all areas, and she is in large part to thank.
This is not just a book about how to overcome your breakup -- it provides the resources to heal from your damaged past, recognize that you deserve better in life, learn to listen to and trust your instincts, and find real happiness. There's no hocus pocus here -- it's a smart book that executes key elements of cognitive psychology.
Simply put, this book is a life saver. Read it, apply it and be forever changed. "
Susan J. Elliott's "Getting Past Your Breakup" is a perfect book for the newly brokenhearted. When you think your world has been turned upside down, Elliott's personal story and actively engaging support has just the answers you need - yes, there are real answers included in the book! An expert in grief recovery, she has heard every unfair story there is. This is an easy to read book that makes you feel like you are having a cup of coffee with a trusted friend. I would recommend the book to anyone who has been handed a relationship pink slip or even active in the dating world.
The silver lining with this book is that it will not only help you move forward today, but it will set the foundation for you to have healthier relationships for the rest of your life. It's a book you will flag pages and return to often. Bonus: Elliott also doesn't say good luck and bye-bye on the last page either. Getting Past Your Past, a daily blog, is the ideal follow-up to keep you on track toward your new life. http://gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com
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I found a reference to GPYP blog on iVillage 2 years ago. I went to the site and found so much wonderful wisdom and helpful advice. I've never been a big commenter on there but I read every single day. There are SO many people on there who say "this is IT, this is what works!" so I followed along and now I am one of those too. The advice on the blog changed my life.
I was long over a breakup and on with my life thanks to GPYP but ordered several copies of the book to give to friends. I read it myself after I got one and it's even better than the blog.
there is the BEST OF THE BEST blog information plus stories and commentary from readers and students and some brand new stuff not on the blog. This book is THE BIBLE of Getting Over A Breakup! You need nothing else!
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This is an *amazing* breakup book. It's probably the best on the market. It's also more than a break-up book. It's a very practical, easy to read, self-help handbook. The information is easy to digest, and the examples and personal stories (including and especially the author's) are truly helpful and very interesting. They make you feel understood, less alone, and very empowered! I love Elliott's writing style. I love her advice, wisdom, sense of humor, common sense, warmth and sincerity. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone going through a breakup now and anyone who ever has gone through a breakup. It's also useful for people experiencing other kinds of loss. Check out her awesome GPYP (Getting Past Your Past) blog, too! "
I am going to start the inventories this weekend and have already bought a journal. Ive been very low lately and feeling as if Im never getting over it. Then I found your book at the bookstore and finally there is hope.
I checked out your blog and hope to become a contributing member soon.
Thank you for this information. I think I am ready to get over it once and for all. "
I am going to try to get to the June 6th seminar but I wanted to thank you for the book. It's even better than I thought it would be."
This book complements Susan Elliotts blog in a superb way (http://gettingpastyourpast.wordpress.com/). It is a practical, down to earth approach, and very easy to read. Other than common breakup literature, this one gives you concrete material to work with (like the inventories, which are elaborated procedures that are recommended to use when dealing with a breakup situation). This is not just a theoretical book, it is designed to be read and applied. What I also find remarkable is that she highlights the subjects from various perspectives and suggests multiple methods (like writing inventories, using affirmations etc). To me, the book is about so much more than just dealing with a breakup: it is about life itself!
Since I also know her blog (and am delighted to know it), I highly recommend both the blog as well as this book. It is a safe place to go when one faces a difficult loss (particularly a breakup), and it's a fun community also"
The author never diminishes how truly devastating a break up can be while also gently reminding the reader that moving on is essential in order to grow, become a better person, and choose better partners. The book is very practical and offers advice on stopping the obsessive thoughts about your ex by putting the focus back on your life. The author encourages you to become the person that you always wanted to be and pursue the personal goals that will make your life full, even if you are single. I believe that this book offers advice that is very healing. "
This program takes work and courage and dedication, but it really really works.
Susan's writing is easy to understand and she makes it gender and sexual preference neutral, so I would recommend it for anyone! Be good to you, and buy this book! "
I bought your book yesterday and have just read the 1st 2 chapters. Already I'm finding very useful and comforting information. My relationship with my girlfriend has just ended and I'm very much in pain, and as you can guess I'm wanting very much to call my ex-girlfriend. However, I'm using your book as the tool I need to get through this rough and difficult time. Hopefully I can contact you again once I've finished reading your book. But for now, thank you for this wonderful and helpful information.
All the best;
Richard
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I think this is a very important book for those going through a breakup, and perhaps a book that just everyone should read!
It helped me understand some of my feelings, and is helping me put a plan together and take control of my life instead of feeling like a victim.
Section on healthy boundaries was a real eye opener for me. It's like having a personal life coach right in a book. The blog that goes along with the book keeps giving long after the book is read. Thanks to Susan for this, it made a huge difference for me. "
As a long time reader and major fan of her blog (Getting Past Your Past - GPYP), I was so thrilled to find all the key pieces of her programme in this book. Susan tells it like it is - no nonsense, to the point and completely honest, yet with a huge dose of caring and love. I credit Susan and her programme with still being here and being sane! After being left multiple times by the 'love of my life' (or so I thought), and being utterly broken-hearted, following Susan's advice has allowed me to recover, get through the pain and out the other side, and develop a much better life. This book tells you exactly how to go about getting past your break-up (though it can be used for lots of other losses too) - follow her advice and you WILL get there and, indeed, will find that you are much better off than you were before. Not only is her writing informed by years of study and practice as a therapist and grief counsellor, she has also been through - and come through - so much in her own personal life in the past.
I think I have read just about every break-up and personal development book on the planet. But there is only one I keep by my bed. And this is it. "
I found Susan Elliot's website (gettingpastyourpast.com) a couple of years ago and read everything on it. I found wisdom and ideas I had NEVER heard anywhere else. I posted my own questions and got a lot of great advice, including from Susan herself. I did what she suggested, and I healed. The pain has gone.
Things are new, a bit scary, exciting, and I'm not always sure where I'm going, but I created my own WHOLE NEW LIFE. And it rocks. And I spot the kind of guy who used to destroy my world - a mile off. And I know just what to do. My life works and my relationships work. The book is like a distilled version of the website - use both and see your life turn around. It's like having your own online cheer squad. Susan is funny, honest and wise - and her ideas WORK. Read this book.
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Like some of the others, I found Susan Elliott's Getting Past Your Past blog when I was struggling after a major heartbreak. Without any doubt, the website, and subsequently this book have done more for my healing than any other resources I have come across.
It is practical help, written with the compassion of someone who has gone through it, to guide you through those darkest hours and beyond. Like the best kind of friend, who is there for you even when you are not there for yourself, one who tells you the truth even when you don't want to hear it, her no-nonsense approach to both understanding where you are and guiding you with how to deal with it, is invaluable. There is no fluff here. Heart break and betrayal are soul destroying and the grieving and the healing processes need to be honoured.
Ms. Elliott provides the tools you need when you are in no place to think for yourself, the tools you need to get your life and yourself back, and the tools you need to navigate a better, more beautiful future for yourself when the time is right. And in the end she leaves you to spread your own wings and fly again - the best kind of teacher. She is an awesome woman, and this is an awesome book.
I will never let go of this one. I want it on my bookshelf, just in case. Not that I'm expecting ever to be in that space again. I can honestly say since coming across Susan Elliott's work I have become stronger, clearer, got back into my own life, and taken complete responsibility for my healing. And although I may suffer heartbreak again, I will not lose myself in the process.
I've not written a review before, but I can honestly say this helped me get through this like nothing else. Actually... not just get through it, I'm learning to thrive and really live my life. So, if you're going through a heartbreak, or know someone who is, get this. And go visit her blog. All the best to you. "
I am so happy Susan finally penned a book that contains her advice from the Getting Past Your Past website. I love the book because it is personal, well though out, and the advice is spot on.
The author knows what she is talking about because she's lived through the struggle of broken relationships and came out on the other side with a better sense of self and a strong emotional core, which is the aim of the entire process. It is very hard to look at relationships after they've ended and reflect on your role in them, but this book helps with real world, practical advice. I personally learned most from the standards and being good to you sections.
Susan's advice works if you work it. If you are really fed up with getting into relationships with the same kind of person and getting nowhere, read this book, and work the process - it will transform your life for the better. "
Direct, to the point, understandable, do-able, hopeful. This book is a gift of Elliott's experiences, talents, compassion; common sense, understandable terms in which she details the steps one can (and must) do in order to get past, get real and get to that brighter future. A future with contentment with oneself, with those dear to us and even those relationships we have yet to discover. "
Susan's excellent blog is where I go when I start to panic that the bad days are coming back. I read a few posts and feel better immediately. I bought the book and had it sent to the UK and now I'm doing the work. Better still! It keeps the focus where it belongs: on you and not the bananahead that didn't want you and your glorious self. This is such an important book and I'm going to give one to my daughter when she gets out there in the big, wide world, just in case. Thanks Susan, for everything! "
If you want to get practical, realistic and helpful advice on how to get over your breakup and become a happier and more fulfilled person, you will need this book and nothing else. Following Susan Elliott's advice will keep you sane and get you on the other side of heartbreak.
The program is putting together the advice from her popular blog in a way that's clear and easy to follow. Both her own example of overcoming hardship and the examples of all the devoted followers of her blog are proving that the advice really works. If you are determined to change your life, start by reading this book."
I've read several breakup books and this was by far the most helpful. It's easy to understand and provides step-by-step help through this painful process as well as steps to becoming a whole new and improved you because of it. After I began reading this, I really started to feel at peace with my breakup and actually excited for what lies ahead. Don't buy any other book! "
Getting Past Your Breakup" is a wonderful book for anyone who has just ended a relationship and needs support. It is the first book I have ever read that tells it like it is and doesn't sugar-coat what a person goes through when they have broken up with someone. I highly recommend it. "
This is one of the best books out there if you are trying to heal from a devastating breakup. Susan not only tells her own personal story but shares with the reader the lessons she learned, and how she changed her life to become a successful, happy woman and attract the love of her life. She gives us the reader practical steps on learning how to heal and supplies the tools on how to learn from our past, reach inside ourselves and discover our own happiness. She has exercises in her book that shows us how to discover our most wonderful self. Thank you Susan for your wisdom and experience. "
After reading the blog for several years I was hesitant about buying the book figuring, well, haven't I read this already?
But, the layout of the book as well as having everything in your hands, at your fingertips, proved to be more than useful for me. I have been going through a break up for what seems like years and having what is going on inside my head and my heart explained in a rational, this is what you need to do way, has been a godsend.
I am so thankful there is someone out there who gets how painful and crazy breakups can be and how you can put a stop to the crazy making by sorting through your own stuff. This book really guides you to putting your life back on track.
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This book is like a good friend. Used in conjunction with Susan's blog, a supportive community is created to offer anyone successful tips on understanding the grief of ending a relationship and MOVING ON!"
I just finished your book after going through a horrible breakup. It helped me so much in so short a time. I haven't done all the exercises yet, but it appears do-able and does contain the "roadmap" as you call it, for getting through a breakup.
I'm so grateful and wanted to thank you. Never did I think I'd read a breakup book yet alone write to th author annd gush like a school girl, but here I am. Thank you for your wonderful book and for inspiring me to get over what used to be and get on with what I want in my life."
"After a 4 year breakup, I was completely lost...shocked by the overwhelming feeling of "what now"..."how do I get through this"..."I'm not strong enough to get through this". I read the book, did all of the excercises in it & I felt better & better each day. I'm re-reading it now, to help anything that hadn't fully sunk in the first time register. This book was my "bible" for a while, & I'm so thankful that I read it. It's been only 2.5 months since the breakup & I feel like a new person. I had to let go of something & that was very painful, but all of the inventory lists that you create make such a difference. You're able to view the relationship in a different light. In reality I let go of a relationship that was painful (from the beginning) & now I have a different outlook. I know what I want & I believe it's attainable. I will never forget this book or the lessons I've learned because of it. I will buy it as a gift for anyone of my friends/family who will encounter future breakups, because it works. It's an amazing book, it's worth the read. If you do read it, do the homework - it makes the process so much easier to let go of the bad & look forward to your future. I know everything will be ok & that's thanks to this book." "
"This is absolutely a must-read if you are going through a tough breakup (or, if your breakup was some time ago and you just can't get past it). Susan Elliott nails it on the things you should do to heal. I highly, highly, highly recommend this book. READ IT." "
I highly recommend this book to anyone going through a breakup. I spent much of my adult life going from one failed relationship to the next. I never joined the dots.. I just figured this was the way life was. And yes, it was the way life was until I followed the advice and exercises detailed in this book.
If you are going through a breakup (or even if you are in a bad relationship),you need this book. The advice Ms.Elliot gives is sound and it works. It's the best $10 you will ever spend! "
Dear Ms. Elliott:
I have just spent the past 3 months reading, re-reading, doing the exercises and following every word of your book. I have quoted it, verbatim, to friends as the best advice anywhere. Not only am I over the relationship that brought me to your book but I feel better than I have in years. I have something I never had before, the glimpse of a very bright future. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Regards,
Garrett M., Nebraska USA"