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Some recommendations. These are, I believe, must haves in recovery. For the Melody Beattie and Robin Norwood books, I prefer the second ones but the firsts are required reading.
The grief after death books are here for providing information on grief, and everyone here should know by now that I have adopted Elizabeth Harper-Neeld’s “The Turn” (in Seven Choices) as practically required reading. Additionally, the woman is a professor of literature and the book is so well written, it’s amazing. Plus her bibliography is one of the most in-depth I’ve ever seen. Another is Stephen & Ondrea Levine’s The Grief Process. I attended the workshop where this was recorded and it’s the only thing that soothed me after Michael passed. If you’re grieving, their work is truly amazing. I kept a diary of Michael’s illness and passing at Rope Burns
The recommendation for Hyperbole and a Half is because it’s a great book that is both funny and sad. It makes me laugh out loud at times and also makes me want to cry at times. Bill Gates released a list of his favorite books, most of them (of course) business books but Hyperbole and a Half made the list. It’s a treasure and I give it as a gift whenever I can.
Also recommended here are “adult coloring” books and coloring pencils which helped me SO MUCH when I was anxious. I still have the mandala I did (and never finished) when my first marriage broke up and I couldn’t sit still. Coloring them helped SO MUCH especially with the grief induced anxiety. I have been recommending them for the past 25 years and suddenly they’ve become in vogue. I still use mandalas and intricate colorings to relieve stress and anxiety so I’ve included some of my favorite supplies here. If you have hobbies, interests etc. that intrigue you or should be recommended, please let me know. I’d love to know about it! I’ve also added some things that have made my life easier such as Herschel backpacks (I noticed that here in NYC, all the college kids were carrying Herschel so I checked them out and they are awesome).
When I first started self-care, I didn’t have a lot of money. I started with bubble baths, mani pedis and deep conditioning my hair. I moved onto more expensive bath items (esp aromatherapy like lavender) and made my bedroom my oasis…nice pillows, nice comforters, wall hangings etc. I still do this. I deep condition my hair once a week (I use cellophane and heated caps) and take a relaxing bubble bath with expensive bath gels once a week. Most of the deep conditioning hair products here are ones I still use. I added some of those products here for reminders that every little bit of pampering helps.
The comforters, pillows and towels here are the ones I have. I started buying Ralph Lauren comforters years ago when Filene’s Department Store was still in business. They had an RL sale in housewares and I bought the first one and have had one (or more) ever since. The Lenox towels are INCREDIBLE – every time I get out of the shower and wrap myself in them I am so happy I spent the money. Even my granddaughters notice the difference in the towels and ask for the “big fluffy towels.” I sleep in my bed every night and shower every morning so the luxury is WORTH IT. You don’t have to use the products I use, but PAMPER yourself!!!! Reward yourself! And if you are a guy and have ideas for self-care and comfort, please let me know so I can add them here!
GPYB Healing Products is out of business but our recommendations for candles, diffusers, and soaps are below. Download our Letting Go Ritual booklet for guidance.
I am always on the lookout for things that make my life easier so there are things like staplers and lunch containers with attached lids. Again, I only put things on this list that I use and like and has made my life easier.
BOOKS: Yes, I’ve read all these and even had the honor of being a pre-publication reviewer for “The New Codependency.” I was asked by Melody Beattie’s agent, and I was thrilled that she even knew about me since I have been an MB fan a very very long time!
Anyway, these are my recommendations, but if you have a book that has really helped…let me know. But I do not and will not include anything I have not read. I will add a “Reader Recommends” if I’m not familiar with it. I found some of these titles from my readers, so I trust and value your input.
The links are through our affiliate program (full disclosure) but we don’t make a lot of money from the program (we made $8.00 last month!) and all of it goes back into the site or to help fund a scholarship to bootcamps, seminars and retreats for Domestic Violence victims or others who need the recovery tools (last year we gave a half scholarship for the women’s retreat to a teacher with five kids of her own whose ex was playing footsie with a tootsie and not paying child support). So we do put every cent we receive from affiliate programs into the site.
Even if you’re not buying one of the Recommended books, buying through any of the Amazon links on this site will help us out. So if you’re buying from Amazon, please click our links to get there. WE THANK YOU.
I also appreciate GPYB and GBOT reviews. EVEN IF you have both books already, please click on the links to Amazon and review them….and if you don’t have GBOT yet, please get it! Not only should you be doing the Standards and Compatibility Inventory when you first break up and when you finish the Relationship Inventory in GPYB, but you need to COMMIT to you so start the Standards and Compatibility Inventory LONG before you’re ready to date. Also, I am trying really hard to shop my third book and GBOT is not the powerhouse that GPYB is in sales so I need to prove to publishers I’m not a one-trick pony (even though GBOT was their idea, not mine). So any support (buying/reviewing) you can do for GBOT would e awesome! A purchase and/or a review would be very appreciated!
For the grief audios I fell asleep every night to the Levine audio using a headband with earphones inside because I wouldn’t fall asleep with ear buds in. I used the Acoustic Sheep pair but I included a less expensive pair here as well. I can’t vouch for the other ones but the Acoustic Sheep were great. The meditation/relaxation audios to fall asleep by also helps with dreams!!!! It really helps to reduce disturbing dreams.
I’ve also included things that really help me such as the Kindle and the backpacks. As an NYC commuter, we are pretty up on things that help us with reading/writing/working on trains and buses etc. I have also included some of my favorite journals and notebooks. ENJOY!!!
All of the foundation, primer, hair products are all ones I use for SELF-CARE and pampering. I use the towels shown here and the comforters. I only recommend on this page books I’ve read and products I’ve used. ENOJOY and remember the SELF CARE!