Would Travis Alexander and/or Ryan Poston be alive today if everyone was duly informed about men as stalking victims?
by Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed.
There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking. ~ David Coleman
What Is Stalking
The reason the David Coleman quote above resonates with me is that a woman who appeared to be stalking a man called it serendipitous when she wound up in a club a half mile from his home, where he was known to frequent, on the same night he did. She said to me, “It’s serendipity!” and I said, “No, it’s stalking.” I don’t know when the quote above was made by its source, but I had this conversation 14 years ago. Another quote that came to mind, is “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” She kept thinking that their “accidental” run-ins meant they were destined to be together. It didn’t and they weren’t. Thankfully she moved on, and no one died.
Stalkers Who Turn Into Murderers
It has long been known that female stalking victims have been killed by their stalker. Laws to protect people have been put into effect after stalking turns to murder. Rebecca Shaefer’s murder in 1989 led to stronger laws in California to hide addresses of public figures. It’s not a small thing and it’s not unusual. What is unusual is the small amount of attention paid to female stalkers as murderers and their victims. While we may pay attention to the murder trials, we have done little to educate everyone about how men can protect themselves if they have a stalking ex-girlfriend or obsessive girlfriend they can’t seem to get to go away.
The Murders of Travis Alexander and Ryan Poston
I examined Alexander’s killer, Jodi Arias, and her stalking behavior in Part 1 of this series. I have drafts about Poston’s killer, Shayna Hubers, but as she is getting a new trial, I’ve kept most in drafts. I have written my own harrowing accounts with real live stalkers (Local), internet stalkers, being harassed, being a DV victim and being an advocate for victims of domestic violence victims. I have counseled people for over 25 years and know about obsessive love both as a victim and as a counselor of many. I hope to write more on this subject of male stalking victims. If you have questions or comments, email me and I will answer in upcoming articles or videos. To subscribe to our mailing list go HERE.
This is to help anyone who thinks they are being stalked or a friend or family member of someone being stalked and that person is a man.
No one who was friends with Alexander or Poston should feel guilty that they didn’t urge either person to take stronger precautions. This information is simply not known by most. But now that there are at least two men – in the prime of their lives – murdered by their stalker – this issue should become better known.
Yes, there are others and there are even other high visibility cases. For now, this is to draw parallels between these two murder victims and any man who may be in danger and not know it.