Author, Attorney, Grief Counselor, Media Commentator, Motivational Speaker, Relationship Expert, Breakup Coach BA English Mount Holyoke College, magna cum laude, High Honors, Phi Beta Kappa M.Ed., Counseling Psychology, Cambridge College J.D. University of California, Berkeley Licensed to practice law in federal and state courts in NY. Licensed but Inactive in Texas and District of Columbia Creator of the Getting Past Your Past and Getting Past Your Breakup programs, seminars, workshops, bootcamps, videos, blogs and podcasts Author of Getting Past Your Breakup, Getting Back Out There and the GPYP Workbook

Celebrating milestones is important to people who are resisting negative behavioral impulses.

We celebrate NC Chips every Sunday  the Facebook Group.  To find out more about the Facebook Group and other resources, go to the GPYB Resources page HERE

And if you do not have the workbook, it’s $5 off on NC Sunday…use discount code SUNNCBONUS at checkout on Sundays midnight to Monday midnight East Coast USA time.

To instantly download the Workbook GO HERE

To download the new Power! Affirmations book GO HERE

It’s important to mark those milestones…no matter how big or how small…so we’re talking NO CONTACT...even if you’re having issues, share them here and let us know. If you’re succeeding, tell us how and come and get your chip!!!!


GPYB popularized the NO CONTACT or NC concept and it has been adopted as the key to healing throughout the mental health and therapy and pop psychology world. But it originated in GPYB book (and program many many years before that).

See the Rules of Disengagement in the GPYB book and do the exercises in the workbook and see this post about the Searching mechanism.

How it works

You report your NC time in comments and it’s good to share how you are doing it and also what you are going to do to reward yourself.

For those of you who are new, this post explains the hows, whys and wherefores of NC chips.

Please share your success and your struggles here. –

If you’re struggling, please feel safe enough to talk about it here so you can get great tips and pointers!

TIME FOR NC CHIPS! Come and get yours!

Sharing NC stories and time is important. If you’re struggling with it, it’s important and if you’re succeeding with it, it’s important.

We have many struggling with NC so please share your NC success and the benefits of NC. If you’re struggling, feel free to share here and ask for support. If you’re not counting time any more, please share that too! When did you stop needing to know “how long it’s been.”

Thanks all and congrats to those picking up chips.

Before we go onto the chips, these are the reasons we count chips:

1) to reward ourselves for doing it. It’s a big deal and needs to be treated like a big deal.
2) to show others it can be done.

3) if you’ve been maintaining a good stretch of NC but fell short in the past, write about your struggles and how you overcame them.

4) if you’re struggling, tell us and how we can help.

Your “count” is up to you. Don’t let someone else say “Oh don’t start over” or “You have to start over.” This is about learning to be true to yourself, to be honest. Is a Facebook peek breaking NC? Yes, it is. Do you “need” to count it? I would but it’s up to you. NC time is important because it shows us that we do have power and control over what we do and how it affects us. If we say “I have 30 days of NC” it’s up to you to know if that is an honest count or not. Don’t set yourself up by counting NC time when you are not NC. The thought that you’re not being true to yourself will eat at you more than starting the count again. And please don’t tell anyone they do or do not have to start their count over. If someone asks, “Is this breaking NC?” you can weigh in with your opinion.

NC is about you. It’s about knowing you have control over your life and your impulses. It’s about rewarding yourself for NC time and showing others it can be done.

No contact (NC) is truly the key to moving on. It’s a big, important topic which is why it’s the first chapter in the book.

Even if you work with, have children with, mutual friends with, live in a small community with, NC is possible in that you only speak when you have to, you don’t get into emotional issues, everything is very business like. Again, the advice to do this is in the GPYB book.

If you have a child, you are NC if you speak with your ex ONLY when necessary and the conversation is BRIEF and BUSINESS LIKE and you KEEP GOOD BOUNDARIES!!!  

If you don’t share anything like that, going NC is very important: CUT OFF ALL CONTACT.

If you break NC or respond to your NC-breaking bananahead ex, you don’t “go back to square one.” You have had progress along the way and it’s easier once you’ve done it a while to do it again. So shower and get right back to NC. And tell us what you’ve learned Dorothy.

So leave your concerns, issues, questions, stories here and

Come get your chips!!! (P.S. I have tried to code the colors best I can but they show up differently on different devices. Sorry about that…but I’m sure you get the idea!)

If you’re new and confused about NC or how to do it: GET THE BOOKS!!! You cannot succeed at NC without the books…and the workbook helps too!!!

Ideas for rewarding yourself:  get the books, get a GPYB Recommended book or self-care item or get the workbook or something else!  (share it in the group!)


Both books are important (both have a full chapter on how to be NC when you co-parent). Go HERE to get the books!


FOR NC CHIP SUNDAYS, go HERE to get a recommended book or some self-care ideas

OR we give $5.00 off the workbook every Sunday with the code SUNNCBONUS and go HERE to buy the workbook

NC Chips

24 Hours White

1 Week Teal

2 Weeks Lavender

3 Weeks Maroon

30 Days Yellow

40 Days Turquoise

50 Days Orange

60 Days Green

90 Days Navy Blue

6 Months Purple

9 Months Red


Pick up your chip! Tell us what chip you get and how you did it. Share your NC power of example! Talk about how long you’ve been NC and what it’s been like for you.

I would also suggest, in the way of being good to you, to BUY yourself an actual chip, a real chip and keep it on your dresser/bureau or some other prominent place as a reminder of how WELL you are doing. Standard poker chips are fine but the gold ones can be a nice round gold piece from a jewelry store or buy a chain with a nice round gold pendant.

If you’ve been a NC you definitely deserve something nice. There have been other suggestions on here such as keeping a jar and filling it with something nice for every day NC or some other way to mark the time and see how strong you are. GET YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE!

Make your symbol REAL and not just virtual! And TELL US what you did or bought or how you celebrated!

If you’re struggling with NC, talk about your biggest challenges to NC and what is standing in your way and if you need help/support.

EVERY DAY OF NC is a day of healing…a day that brings you closer to your goal of moving on and getting healthy. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

What are your challenges? What are your issues? We are all here for each other!

Need more support?  ALL GPYP/GPYB/GBOT Resources are HERE

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GPYB Recommended Authors and Self-Care Items HERE

Copyright Ⓒ Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed.
All Rights Reserved No Duplication is Allowed Without Explicit Permission of the Author and a link back to the original content

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How to MAXIMIZE the books and the Workbook Together Go HERE

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